Mom: So are you enjoying writing on your blog?
Kenzie: Yeah, but it's not something I want to do everyday. Just when the inspiration hits.
So, this is three posts in two days.
This is something I wrote a while ago after a college memory was made.
The background information: My roommates and I went into David's Bridal and acted as though we were planning my wedding. We then posted pictures on the Internet of our wedding party, with no explanation. Obviously, there were a few confused people inquiring as to who my Phantom Fiance might be. I then wrote this public apology and explanation. And it's such a good story, I feel it deserves a comfortable spot here as well.
For all you inquiring minds:
I'm not engaged. I'm not getting married. No worries. BUT... David's Bridal thinks I am. You see, every girl wants to try on a beautiful wedding dress. But good ole' David won't allow this to happen unless your actually engaged. Who would have thought?!?! So...being the marvelous actress that I am (thanks to my wonderful drama teacher) I convinced David and his crew that I soon was going to acquire my MRS degree. We walked into the boutique and were quickly greeted by Courtney, who was obviously being paid through commission. It was sort of reminiscent of a lion surrounding it's prey. She offered me a catalogue and congratulated me on my new engagement. My girls and I, were quickly becoming the next ones to walk down the aisle. As the woman asked questions about my upcoming wedding, I shot off answers, the whole time keeping the "glowing bride" look.
Lion: "When is your wedding?"
Prey: October 2007
Lion: "What's his name?"
Prey: Bryce Williams
Lion: "His middle initial?"
Prey: Oh...uh...
Lion: "O?"
Prey: Uh...Yeah...O
Lion: "How many flower girls?"
Prey: 2
Lion: "How many groomsman?"
Prey: 3
Etc. etc. etc.
As soon as my dearly beloved, Bryce, and I were registered newlyweds, the modeling began. Of course only the most expensive dresses were brought out. Only the best for my Bryce. You could almost see the desire in the Lion's eyes and the drool in her mouth. As one of the girls pulled out a camera to take a few shots of me walking down the catwalk of deceit, she was quickly reprimanded by an onlooking predators. "There's no pictures. I'm sorry ma'am." I saw our plan crumble before my eyes. Who would believe we had pulled this off with any proof? With a tear in my eye, I informed her that my mother lived out of the state and she couldn't make it to help with the wedding preparations. The lions backed off, afraid of the "stressed out bride hormones" they were all too familiar with in their line of work. After all of our names, sizes, and dress style were put into the registry, we decided it was time to call it a day. We left with promises to return closer to the wedding day to retrieve the dresses.
So I suppose this means I have a few apologies to make:
David- Terribly sorry for your wasted time. But if you could do me a favor and take my name out of your registry, my mailbox at school can only hold so much junk mail. Although, I must admit the free (with the purchase of a $10,000 dress) 7 days honeymoon cruise was tempting...
Courtney - Our time together was almost as exciting as watching the Discovery Channel. Although for the first time in history, the prey escaped. Sorry!
Anyone with the name of Bryce O. Williams - Pure coincidence. I swear!
All my love,
Mrs. Bryce O. Williams
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